Work, The Joys and the Pains

For the past 3 years I was working at a company called PP (they don't want people to use their name online without their control, so we will call them PP....). Overall it was a really great job, the pay was good and I was able to work from home. But I literally started going insane. I would literally wake up and think, "I would rather be in a hospital, in a coma then waking up right now." And I know I have said that before on here, but yikes. I have never been so depressed in my life.

I was scared of change. I was scared of taking a pay cut. I was scared I would hate my next job just as much. I was scared I wouldn't be able to get hired anywhere else. But my New Years resolution was to have a new job as soon as possible. So I started hunting. My first thought was to become a flight attendant. I applied for a few places, but most were not hiring and would likely not be hiring again any time soon. Most jobs in the field I had been working in for the past three years, customer service, paid more than what I was making at PP, but I knew I would still be miserable. I considered being a nanny, which I had done in the past and loved but would have to take a serious pay cut, plus I couldn't find anything with great hours.

So I started looking into substitute teaching. I would take a pay cut, and there was a concern I wouldn't get enough hours because each day really isn't guaranteed, but after a solid month of paperwork I bravely became a substitute teacher and I have to say, I have never been so happy. Every Single Day it is a new adventure and completely different from the last. Plus I never feel emotionally abused like I did on a near daily basis at PP. At a sub, it's usually the opposite, kids are so cute, so loving, and know how to make your day! I do make less, but I work at least 4 days a week (and could easily work 5, but usually choose to take an extra day off) and it's so much more rewarding. Something I could never say about PP.

I was so depressed and remembering thinking it was something wrong with me. I was just thinking too negative. I wasn't being positive enough. But no, with such an emotionally draining job I really believe the only thing I could have done to make the situation better was to leave, and I'm so glad I did. The moment I put my two week notice in I was immediately relieved. I immediately felt better. It was incredible.

I've also been blessed with direction, something I have been searching for. I made the decision I would start school (yes, I am nearly 22 and I am only now starting school, ugh). But I didn't know what I wanted to go to school in. One of the reasons I chose to become a substitute was so I could see if I would enjoy being a teacher, which I really feel I would absolutely love, but I still wasn't for sure. With Dave going into the military who knows where we will be living, who knows how often we will be moving, and deep down I don't feel like I would use the degree as I'd rather be a stay at home and the degree would just get "dusty". One morning on a lovely drive as the sun came up I just felt impressed, Nutrition and Culinary. The more I talk about it, the more I know it is right. If I really need to, I could find a job in the field, but it's something I can use in my everyday life! And once my kids are all in school, then I can get a teaching degree and it will be more worth my while.

If you have stuck through this entire novel, I applaud you. Really, bravo. The main reason I write this is that maybe someone, somewhere, sometime, or even myself in the future, will need to be told that change is OK. And change is necessary. And to not put it off until you are wishing you are in a coma... Or worse.

Be brave. Take the leap. Let go of unnecessary burdens.

1 comment

  1. Way to go, Adria! You are talented and creative and intelligent and will be great in any path you choose to pursue!