The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter Part V

Part V

The next large section of this book is titled Love. When I got to this point I thought, I'm already married, maybe I should just skip past this part... Additionally I wasn't sure what I would find in this part. For most people outside of the LDS church marriage and dating and cohabitation before marriage are taken lightly. But I was surprised with what I found and I hope that lots of twentysomthings read this book.

She talks about back in the day when a man could support his family, provide them with a nice home, and the wife stayed at home, cooked, cleaned and raised children, in their early to mid twenties. But when birth control was introduced women starting building careers which wasn't something you ever saw happening before. Now days your twenties are viewed as a time to let loose and have much fun as you can before being chained down. But what people don't realize is that dating isn't just all for fun, dating is prepping you for marriage. The people you date lead you to the person you are going to marry. People spend their twenties building their career and when they hit thirty they find that they have a harder time to find some one worth marrying. Back in the day most people were done having kids by the time they hit 30. Now days people are just starting to have kids by the time they hit 30 and find they have a harder time having kids, if they can have any at all. And I can see why people put it off due to the fact that now days it's quite hard for only one spouse to be working and be able to provide the same things a man could provide for his family, 50 years ago. You want to be comfortable and more stable, and that takes time.

She also talks about how research shows that cohabitation between a couple before marriage has a higher risk of divorce.  And that people who live with their parents (rather then being independent) before being married tend to be less dedicated. Which I feel applies to us. I really wish we had been independent before being married (which is something one of my uncles advised...). I really don't feel like I had finished growing up and was clueless on what being an adult really entailed. Many young LDS girls I feel could easily fall into this category. I felt like I was thrown into being an adult with little to no understanding of what I should be doing. For my own children, even for sons after having gone on missions, I think it's important for them to be independent, mainly financially.

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